Memorials « Bettina Network's Blog

Archive for the ‘Memorials’ Category

A Tribute to The Rev. Patricia Riley Colenback (1931-2013)

Sunday, February 24th, 2013

taken from “Alla Bozarth-Campbell’s – From Womanpriest: A Personal Odyssey, Paulist Press 1978

Bakerwoman God

 
Bakerwoman God,
I am your living Bread.
Strong, brown, Bakerwoman God.
I am your low, soft, and being-shaped loaf.
 
I am your rising bread,
well-kneaded by some divine
and knotty pair of knuckles,
by your warm earth-hands.
I am bread well-kneaded.
 
Put me in fire, Bakerwoman God,
put me in your own bright fire.
I am warm, warm as you from fire.
I am white and gold, soft and hard,
brown and round.
I am so warm from fire.
 
Break me, Bakerwoman God!
I am broken under your caring Word.
Drop me in your special juice in pieces.
Drop me in your blood.
Drunken me in the great red flood.
Self-giving chalice swallow me.
My skin shines in the divine wine.
My face is cup-covered and I drown.
 
I fall up
in a red pool
in a gold world
where your warm
sunskin hand
is there to catch and hold me.
Bakerwoman God,
remake me.
 

And how many times, Pat,  did you say these words over others…………………..

                              “Give rest, O Christ, to your servant Pat with your saints, where sorrow and pain are no more, neither sighing, but life everlasting.”

 

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Veterans’ Day – 2012

Saturday, November 17th, 2012
Memorial Church - Harvard University

Memorial Church - Harvard University

copyright Bettina Network, inc. 2012 – by Marceline Donaldson

We celebrated Veterans Day by piling all of our guests into our car and their car and going to Memorial Church in Harvard Yard.

It was a great day for everyone.  Memorial Church was dedicated in 1932 to the memory of the Harvard dead of World War I and now also contains memorials of the dead of World War II, Korea, Vietnam, and the graduates of Radcliffe College who died in World War I.  So it was the 80th anniversary of Memorial Church.

There were prayers for many illustrious names which you can recognize as being solidly a part of the New England Establishment – we prayed for Coolidges, Appletons, Nobles, Peabody’s, Woodworth’s, Ferris’ and of course, Gomes, Pusey, and Lowell, among others.  I prayed for Mary Daly, whose sermon on a Sunday in Memorial Church caused many to rethink and changed lives, for Benjamin Mays from Morehouse College and so many more who chose uncomfortable – sometimes painful lives instead of comfortable existences which they could have had but for the prophetic pull which determined their life’s path and brought them to the pulpit of Memorial Church.  Each, out of their own lives issued challenges from that most traditional of Churches.

President Drew Faust was present because it was also the day of the Institution Service for the new minister of Memorial Church.  Rev. Peter Gomes died last year and his loss was huge. Rev. Jonathan L. Walton is the new minister and if the few remarks he made during the service were any indication of what to expect in the future his should be an interesting and thought provoking ministry, challenging many.  He started his sentences with “We come to honor a Palestinian Jew who was executed…..”  If that is any indication of his preaching, pastoring and prophetic sides his tenure at Memorial Church should be inspiring and challenging.

The bell tolled “In Memory of Voices that are Hushed” and in the process an honor guard  of Harvard ROTC students placed a wreath of laurel in the Memorial Room.

After the service, the reception was right where you were seated in the Church.  We just mingled while Harvard students who worked as waiters and waitresses served wonderful small edibles – savory and sweet along with drinks.  It was an unusual ending since such receptions are held in another room or in the basement or someplace out of the way.  To just stand-up at the end of the service to see Harvard students serving you as you greeted those you haven’t seen in a long time or talked about the service, or listened to others talk about the new minister was a new and different ending.  Hopefully, the spirit which filled Memorial Church on November 11th will continue.

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Dr. Alice Amsden’s Commemoration at MIT

Saturday, November 3rd, 2012

Dr. Alice Amsden, Barton L. Weller Professor of Economic Development, Massachusetts Institute of Technology

Over the weekend of October 20, 2012 MIT held a commemoration/memorial for Dr. Amsden and it was recorded and published.  One of  the Bettina Network Community members called to ask that we post the email on Bettina Network’s Blog that we sent to those who purchased at Dr. Amsden’s Scattering Sale.  She had forwarded the link to a couple friends and they said the content of the weekend should have a wider ciculation and encouraged her to have the commemoration put on the blog.

In that spirit, the link follows and we invite you to take a look.  It was a tremendous couple of days and an opportunity to both pay tribute to Dr. Amsden and to learn about her ideas, work and family.  We came away with a much greater understanding of what she was about and a different set of ideas about how the world could work.

We sent the following message to those who purchased items at this sale and decided to share it with the Bettina Network’s world.

http://amsden.mit.edu/program/

http://ttv.mit.edu/videos/21431-alice-amsden-commemoration-part-1

“A couple months ago you purchased items at a Bettina Network Scattering Sale which were from the estate of Alice Amsden.

There was a memorial service for Ms. Amsden at MIT recently, which is now on-line.  We have included, at the top of this email, the link for you to use to see this service.  It is a fantastic tribute to Dr. Amsden and it gives you an idea as to who she was, her work, ideas, colleagues and more.

Some of us keep as much of a provenance of the items we buy as possible.  We assume you are one of us and would like to have this information that you can peruse as you wish.  There are six parts to the video and it is excellent.

Thank you for being a part of the Bettina Network Community and for the purchases you made at the Alice Amsden Sale.  We hope this video becomes a part of your collection and you keep it with the items you purchased from Dr. Amsdens estate.

At Bettina Network we are working on building a research library which would include such information on all the items we sell so the next generation will be able to search for and find the art, furnishings, everyday items and more of those who meant a lot to them.  I still wonder what happened to some particular items from my grandmother’s estate.  I would very much have appreciated being able to search for those items, so we are working to give others that opportunity.

We also hope the research library will be used by researchers, appraisers, historians and others to gain an idea into who owned what, why, its value when it was sold and its history before it was acquired by that particular person.

We hope this video is as meaningful to you as it was to us.  Besides the ideas and discussion in this Commemoration, the video about Alice Amsden from baby to the end of life was beautifully done as was the tribute to Dr. Amsden by her family.

We commend it to you with our best wishes and thanks!”

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In Memory of Roger Fisher

Tuesday, August 28th, 2012

by:  Marceline Donaldson

Sprinkled through Bettina Network’s Blog you will find memories of people we knew and with whom we have interacted over the years.  This time, it is someone who was one of those – along with Larry Susskind of MIT – who were majorly responsible for the growth and survival of Bettina Network, inc.

Roger Fisher was on my mind over the past week – because I wanted to thank him for helping us begin and move forward with the bed & breakfast part of this business.  I didn’t know where to find him and didn’t push to discover his whereabouts so the newspaper informed me this morning of Roger Fisher’s death.

A long time ago, in 1984, Roger Fisher and Larry Susskind turned up at our front door to talk about the possibility of using Bettina’s for their guests coming from around the world.  I remember Roger Fisher sitting in our living room when one of those working with him took me aside to ask if I knew we were entertaining “God”.  That was my introduction to Roger Fisher.  My response was – then “God” has come to the right place because we are building heaven’s annex.  Clearly, we understood there were at least two major ego’s in that room that day!

We were just starting this business and unlike those who claim to have started on a shoe string of maybe $10,000 in debt, we started this business with some $1,000,000 in debt.  I had no idea what I was doing – I knew why – I thought I really knew all there was to know about business – we had some experience with bed & breakfast in another house, but not much – so here we were not sure where we would land, how we would pull this off or where to turn and “God” walked into our living room.

Roger Fisher and Larry Susskind sent us lots of guests and set the tone for what we would become.  Larry and Leslie would come to stay when the weather was bad and they couldn’t make it to Southborough.  Unfortunately for us, they now live in Cambridge.

Over that time period, there were White and Black South Africans in the house at the same time just across the hall from one another before Nelson Mandela and the dismantling of apartheid.  They had never been together before and it was exhilarating for them and for us as they giggled together; went to dinner together; worked together and with Roger and Larry tried to bring about something that hadn’t been seen in South Africa for generations.  We became a bit worried when the last two days of their stay the house became as quiet as a tomb.  The White South Africans and the Black South Africans had separated; went to dinner in their separate groups; stopped going back and forth from one room to another and generally pulled apart, leaving for the airport in two vans – one with the White South Africans, one with the Black South Africans. We called Larry because we were concerned something had happened and learned about “re-entry”.  Something the soul does for you when you are going back into the separatist situation from which you’ve come.

We had Hindu’s in the house the day Gandhi was shot and we were expecting another couple the next day who were Sikh’s.  We had Greek Cypriots and Turks’ sharing the house at the same time during some difficult days for them and before all of them we had Russians before Perestroika.

At one point with the Russians we knew we were going to be picked up by the CIA and hauled off to federal prison because we knew nothing about what was coming, we only knew the Russians were the enemy and here they were exchanging research across our breakfast table with their American counterparts and who were their hosts? – Roger Fisher and Larry Susskind.

Our breakfasts were nothing short of sensational and we were heady being able to talk and listen and understand what was happening in the world outside of the very narrow vision of what was normal for Boston and Cambridge.  We were spared guests who talked about the weather, their aches and pains and their miscreant children.

We thought this was what bed & breakfast was all about and we shaped a business following the path laid out for us by Roger Fisher and Larry Susskind.  Without them we would have taken a different turn and probably would be sitting on the street corner wrapped in a sleeping bag – although a very elegant one!

You go through life and never really know what or how you have touched someone else’s life.  My procrastination in reaching out to Roger Fisher to say thank you is kind of typical of the way most of us live with the assumption that life is forever.  It is not and those words of gratitude and appreciation need to be said long before the end comes.

This is very late Roger Fisher, but thank you!!  Thank you for helping us understand how we could carry that $1 million in debt, survive and grow a business which contributes goodness to life.  We don’t pretend to know much about Negotiation the way you and Larry Susskind developed it, but we do know how human and equal we all become around a table sharing food and good conversation – that alone gives hope that one day we will stop the intense violence, pretending that it will solve our conflicts and bring about peace.

Those first few years when we entertained bed & breakfast guests from the Negotiation Project sent to us by Roger Fisher and Larry Susskind were days we shall never forget and days we always keep uppermost in our minds as a paradigm for this Bettina Network business.

We reached the point, in those days, of not wanting to have guests if they did not have great wisdom to contribute over the breakfast table.  Today, we have some remembrances of that and we strive to bring everyone who visits our homes and our host families into an understanding of what that was like and how fantastic a business this is when we keep those standards, that conversation, those dreams of a world full of diversity where we can come together, disagree, work through those disagreements and walk into a very bright light after breakfast.

Roger, may you walk into a great light and enjoy the fruits of your life’s work as you enter another sphere of growing in wisdom, knowledge and understanding in a way we will not understand until we reach that end point where we join you in your endeavors.

TO RESPOND TO THIS BLOG email info@bettina-network.com

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A Final Tribute

Thursday, February 16th, 2012

Ed. Note: Because we had so much response to the Bettina Network Blog on Whitney Houston and because we had questions we couldn’t properly answer and comments we didn’t want to put in the blog – there would have been many by now – mostly repetitive – we decided to reprint (with permission) – this article written by Marc Morial, who has written a fantastic column which covers it all and we commend this to you without reservations or further comments.

The Incomparable Whitney Houston
To Be Equal #7

Syndicated Weekly Column by National Urban League President & CEO Marc H. Morial
“To me Whitney was THE VOICE. We got to hear a part of God every time she sang.” – Oprah Winfrey on the death of Whitney Houston

FEBRUARY 15, 2012 – Billie Holiday was 44. Judy Garland was 47. Dinah Washington was 39. Michael Jackson was 51. Jimi Hendrix was 28. Janis Joplin was 27. Amy Winehouse was 28. And Whitney Houston lived only 48 years on this earth. I was one of millions of people around the world who were stunned to learn of the untimely death of pop-music queen, Whitney Houston last Saturday. Like so many other entertainers who died too young, Whitney was blessed with a divine talent but also haunted by a heavy load of troubles.

Throughout much of the 1980′s and 90′s, Whitney Houston reigned as the undisputed queen of pop. With songs like “The Greatest Love of All,” and “I Will Always Love You,” she set a standard as an octave-shattering virtuoso who brought both elegance and a gospel-tinged intensity to her work in studio and on stage. That was surely a natural outgrowth of her church choir roots and being the daughter of classy gospel legend, Cissy Houston.

Whitney got her start singing in the junior choir of Newark, New Jersey’s New Hope Baptist Church, where her mother has served as Minister of Music for decades. Whitney also undoubtedly benefited from the influences of other great musical talents in her family. Dionne Warwick was her cousin. And Aretha Franklin was her Godmother. But, Whitney was a pure original.

In addition to setting the music world on fire and influencing such performers as Mariah Carey, Beyoncé and Jennifer Hudson, Whitney also excelled as an actress, and had starring roles in such movies as “The Bodyguard,” “Waiting to Exhale” and “The Preacher’s Wife.” Her final film, “Sparkle,” a remake of the 1976 movie about three sisters from Harlem who form a singing group, is set to be released in August.

It is a sad irony that Whitney Houston died on the eve of this year’s Grammy Awards. The winner of six Grammys herself, Whitney was preparing to attend a pre-Grammy party given by her mentor, the legendary music producer, Clive Davis. Her body was found Saturday afternoon in the bath tub of her room at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Los Angeles. As of this writing, the exact cause of her death is still unknown.

In her 2009 interview with Oprah Winfrey, Whitney revealed for the first time, some of the most intimate details about her troubled marriage to Bobby Brown, the deep feelings she had for her mother and her daughter, Bobbie Kristina, and her struggles with drugs. She candidly admitted to Oprah that at times “It was too much. So much to try to live up to, to try to be, and I wanted out.” Through it all, Whitney said she was constantly reading her bible and trying to get back to God. While we are all shocked and saddened by her death, I am hopeful that Whitney Houston’s life and incomparable musical gifts will inspire others to let nothing stand in the way of the full and healthy expression of their God-given talents. Our thoughts and prayers are with Cissy, Bobbie Kristina and the entire Houston family.”

And from the Bettina Network:
May the Lord Bless and Keep you Whitney,
May God’s face shine upon you and be gracious unto you;
May God lift up that exquisite, peaceful and loving countenance upon you and give you peace
Now and forever….Amen and Amen!

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Alabama’s first licensed black female pilot dies at 90

Friday, December 30th, 2011

Published: Wednesday, October 26, 2011, 12:16 PM Updated: Wednesday, October 26, 2011, 12:35 PM

The Associated Press By The Associated Press 
mildred.JPG
Mildred Carter, pictured here in 2003, shows her pilot’s
license from 1941. (The Birmingham News/ file photo)

TUSKEGEE, Alabama — Mildred Carter, who was Alabama’s first licensed black female pilot, has died. She was 90.

Funeral services for Carter will be held at 1 p.m. Friday at Tuskegee’s St. Andrews Episcopal Church with The Rev. Liston Garfield officiating. Burial will be at Greenwood Cemetery.

Her husband Herbert was a Tuskegee Airman.

In an interview with The Montgomery Advertiser he recalled how they had flown in a two-plane formation high over Alabama. He remembers how they laughed and exchanged silent “I love you” signals over their engine noise 3,000 feet above Lake Martin.

“We didn’t have radio contact, so we made up for it with hand signals and blew kisses at each other,” the retired Air Force lieutenant colonel said Tuesday. “It was a lot of fun.”

Herbert Carter, who compiled a distinguished flying record during World War II and, later, in peacetime, recalled those unauthorized rendezvous flights over the lake.

“I was a maintenance officer as well as a combat pilot and one of my jobs was to take planes up for a test flight after we worked on them,” he said. “That’s when we came up with the idea of flying over the lake. Nobody ever said anything to me about what we did.”

Both had to overcome racial prejudices and discriminatory practices when they learned to fly, but they persevered. As the years passed, they became the “first family” of the Tuskegee Airmen organization and represented the group at functions around the world.

She is survived by her husband, three children, a sister, five grandchildren and five great-grandchildren.

© 2011 al.com. All rights reserved.

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Hail Mr. Gomes

Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
 

copyright the Bettina Network, inc. 2011    
by The Rev. Dr. Robert Bennett

The Rev. Professor Mr. Peter Gomes  - internationally known as Harvard University’s pastor – died February 28, 2011.  He was 68 years old.

The Rev. Gomes was such a presence within “the college” and its environs that to say he will be missed is truly an understatement.

I first met Peter Gomes – an elegantly dressed young man, complete with watch fob – in the mid to late 1960′s when he was a student at Harvard Divinity School.  He has been a friend ever since.

Initially, when I first met Peter, I thought he was one of the faculty – he had such an incredible bearing.  And indeed, upon his return to Harvard in the beginning of the 1970′s, after his graduation and after spending a couple years at Tuskegee Institute in Alabama, Peter had indeed become an officer of the college.  This was the start of his career and tenure at Harvard’s Memorial Church.

Peter’s impact at Harvard has been felt in so many ways: his teaching and preaching; his writings and not least of all, the weekly gatherings of the community for tea at his home.  It is a home filled with antiques – each with their own history.  It was a proper setting for a man who loved life and surrounded himself with so much beauty and elegance.

Needless to say, the Rev. Prof. Gomes’ involvements in the social and political issues of the day were felt beyond the walls of Harvard Yard and are already being recalled in notifications of his death.

Looking back on Rev. Gomes’ life, it is as minister to the college which marks his major contribution.  Beside Sunday worship, his pastoral role was expressed through Memorial Church’s varied programs throughout the seasons and festivities of the school year; not the least of these being daily Morning Prayers and talks in the chapel; the pastor’s role as confessor, counselor and friend to student and faculty alike; and – who can forget Mr. Gomes in his varied roles during commencement festivities.

It is all of these good and happy memories which help overcome our sense of loss and sadness and bids us offer a farewell shout:      
                                        
                         SALVE!  PETER GOMES!


I will miss you!


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A Memorial to "Brother Blue"

Sunday, May 9th, 2010

Copyright 2010 The Bettina Network, inc.

We spent Saturday at a memorial service to Brother Blue – Dr. Hugh Morgan Hill. I say “we spent Saturday” because it started about noon and went on until about 4pm. At no time during those four hours did you want to leave. There were several hundred people present, coming from far and near – Maryland, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Virginia, Arkansas, Canada, California – to name a few places of which we were aware.

Ruth Hill, Brother Blue’s wife, organized a remembrance of her husband which will last in memory as long as Hugh lasts in memory.

Some of you, who frequented Harvard Square, may remember Brother Blue. He was the “Character” dressed in blue, preaching, praising, storytelling, making you feel special as one of God’s chosen. When he raised his hand to welcome you showing you his palm, on which a beautiful butterfly had been painted, letting God’s blessings fly out to greet you – it was his version of the open, giving hand.

The service started with a procession into St. Paul’s Episcopal Cathedral in Boston which set the tone and called Brother Blue back for this performance in his honor. Tejo Ologboni, drummer, led the procession. He is amazing performing by himself, but leading this procession it was as though the roof lifted off the Cathedral, light shone in and the colorful Butterfly Puppets appeared following Ologboni. Their wings moved as butterfly wings move, their faces were bright and lit up with smiles that woke those in the congregation who Tejo Ologboni hadn’t yet touched – if such existed.

Memorial services tend to be beautiful, sad, very tearful with much longing and regret from missed opportunities hanging in the air, during and after. This one started with incredible light, color, shouts of joy, drums and more.

It was the first time I saw Brother Blue in the context of his community and it was glorious to see! We mostly saw him with Ruth, his wife, by his side telling stories, exorting, praising and calling those who passed by to be their best selves. In the context of his community you understood, finally, who Blue was and what his life had been about. “…I see through a mirror dimly, but then face to face…” could characterize this event.

A very long succession of people brought their talents and their being to pay tribute to Brother Blue.
Warren Senders – composer/musician from New England Conservatory composed, sang and got the audience caught up, with great gusto, in the chorus to his song which went:

“My brother Blue, My Brother Blue,
he was the kindest man I ever knew
he took your light and shined it back on you!”

The politicians were there and they normally dampen down any event they attend. These politicians must have been carefully chosen because they added to the remembrance and took it to a higher plane – Charles Yancey from the Boston City Council – who made us remember that Blue was the Official Storyteller of Boston, Alice Wolf from the MA. House of Representatives reminded us that he was also the Official Storyteller of Cambridge and had received many other honors as well; Kenneth Reeves from the Cambridge City Council; Byron Rushing also from the MA. House of Representatives who reminded us that we are in Blue’s story because he put us there and then he insisted on our being in everyone else’s story. Steven Tolman from the MA Senate said what Blue meant to him and the affect he had on Tolmans running for the Senate.

Blue was a storyteller, preacher, prophesied, danced, entertained. He had several mantras – one “The greatest thing you will ever learn is to love and to be loved in return.” And he clearly spoke that from a marriage which was an example of love and love returned.

A powerful performance was by Wendy Jehlen, dancer/Choreographer, Director Anikai Dance. The music to which she danced was a recording of Brother Blue’s breath. It was very moving and magnificent. Once you die, the one physical thing you no longer have is your breath – one thing you can no longer do is breathe. Your body begins to deteriorate because the breath which circulates the oxygen to keep you moving and living is gone. For a few very exquisite moments, Ms. Jehlen brought back Brother Blue’s breath and breathing.

Those gathered to remember Blue in the Cambridge/Boston area were the most truly diverse group I have ever seen in that area. When you die, your funeral and your memorial service say much about how you lived. As I looked around the Cathedral and saw the great diversity of people there to remember Brother Blue, it was a testament to his life. White, Black, Asian, Indian (both East and American), very prominent citizens, those who were clearly living on the edge, in various kinds of dress and comfortable in their clothes. And it was a group of people who lingered and talked in groups at the end of the remembrance and went from group to group even talking to those they did not know in a joyful, light-infused, animated conversation. A rare occurrence in this world.

Byron Rushing reminded us that one form of Brother Blues dialogue was “Praise Poetry” which came from Africa and was meant to authenticate who you are – not who the speaker is! Many spoke on the effect Blue had on them when they were in his audience. Rushing spoke on the effect it had on you when Blue was in your audience. It was a profound testament to the man we were remembering.

With Guy Davis‘ presentation – storyteller, actor, blues musician – there was dancing in the aisle and he was beautiful and extremely talented. Elizabeth Morse‘s harp music was a beautiful meditation which brought us back to the sacred. Ms. Morse is someone Blue asked to accompany him over the years.

Eliot Fisk, classical guitarist, was the final person giving a testament to Blue and it was a musical gem.

I saw, for the first time, the power of the Story. We heard about Dr. Hill’s end time in a rehab facility, which will never be the same again, and it was beautiful because you knew through the story that he didn’t ever lose his humanity or identity or interest in others, nor did he stop blessing others. The story about the “Star Child” – one born prematurely and on the life support systems in which we put some of our children – being told stories by his father with his head pressed against the plexiglass and we heard the father’s promise to continue to tell to bring his child in, the way an air traffic controller brings in an airplane.

It was the remembrance of and homage to a man who made his vulnerabilities into a tower of strength and shared his light and blessings with others. It all ended with a video of Hugh Hill over the years. His voice narrated the message which is one he preached over and over again during his life. It was all done with the background music being different renditions of America the Beautiful.

You left knowing your life had been touched by a truly great human being, who walked this earth in his bare feet and brought goodness, kindness and love to many as you heard story after story of how he so positively affected the lives of literally thousands of people.

Our “Praise Poetry” to Dr. Hugh Morgan Hill comes from his obituary: “Most often known as “Brother Blue” Dr. Hill has degrees from Harvard, Yale and the Union Graduate School…. He wanted his stories to be ‘bread for the mind, the imagination, the heart, the soul. He said, ‘I SOUL my stories out, to speak from the middle of the middle of me to the middle of the middle of you…..’ He presented workshops in prisons, schools, colleges and universities, libraries, and conferences and told stories before countless audiences via radio and television, and in person in streets, parks, and festivals in the U. S. Canada, Europe, South Africa and the Bahamas. Among them were First Night Boston, the World’s Fair in New Orleans, Lincoln Center, Spoleto Festival, United Nations Habitat Forum, yukon Storytelling Festival, the National Storytelling Festival and Sharing the Fire in New England. He received many awards and was storyteller-in-residence for the Harvard Law School’s Saturday School and much more.”

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A Tribute to Mary Daly

Friday, January 8th, 2010

by: Marceline Donaldson


A friend of mine died on Sunday. The world is changing much too fast. Old friends are leaving, quietly. You hear nothing for a couple years and then the news comes that they have died. Keep your friends and family close. Before you know it, they will be gone. 


Mary Daly died on Sunday. I first met Mary when I was at Harvard Business School. On a Sunday, I went to Memorial Church. No particular reason, that was what I did on Sundays. The preacher was Mary Daly. She preached a sermon I will never forget and at the end of it led a walk out to protest the patriarchy. – Almost everybody in Harvard Memorial Church that Sunday, walked out with her – me included. It was kind of like being in a shocked, unreal, dreamlike place. It was 1971 and the world was just waking up to what feminism and the women’s movement was all about. 

I saw the picture of Mary Daly that the Boston Globe used over her obituary. It was probably the worst picture of her they could find. Choosing that picture said more about the Boston Globe than it did about Mary Daly. When I met Mary that Sunday, so many years ago, she was a young, very beautiful woman. I read Mary’s obituary in the Boston Globe. It said nothing about the Memorial Church walkout. It read as though what she did in life was to refuse to admit men to her classes at Boston College. 

I spent the 1970′s protesting, reading Mary’s books, along with many more and waking up from my southern, feminine, shy self. I turned the ‘ne at the end of feminine into ‘st and have been doing my little bit to change a patriarchy that sometimes seems intransigent. Those who fought as hard as Mary Daly did, suffer the slings and arrows; the harsh judgments of their peers; the jealousy of those fighting alongside them; the rage of the patriarchy and more, but they have the freedom, the total internal freedom that comes with knowing who you are, of defining yourself; of not allowing this world and its institutional structures to dictate your sense of self-worth. That freedom is worth all the pain and agony which goes along with claiming it. 

To Mary Daly – my deepest thanks for the incredible way you gave of yourself to bring about change from a baser way of living in this world to one in which me, my children and grandchildren can begin to heal from the burdens and abuses of the patriarchal system into which we were born. 

Out of the depths of my despair, my frustration, my confusion, my feelings of being an alien where I live every day, breaks forth my realization of the incredible joy of being me – of understanding who that is – of not compromising my equality for anything or anyone – of becoming fierce and strong and proud of my femaleness. Stereotypes fall away, they lose their grip and I see through all the games being played against me. Games to diminish me; to bind me; to keep me from being all that i was born to be, all that my talents push me to be – how glorious is that freedom. May it keep its hold on me forever. 

Amazingly, many of the things Mary Daly talked about I heard from my grandmother. She didn’t phrase them the same way and my grandmother would be appalled if anyone called her a feminist, but there she was. She talked about sin – if you are going to sin, sin boldly, she said. Always make your own living. You are a free, whole person – always remember that. There is nothing you can’t do. If one door closes, another door opens – only you have to be able to see the opening door and if you are crying over the door that closed in your face, you will surely miss the better one opening just a few feet away – and it isn’t going to sit there open for long, waiting until you arise from your self-pity, missy. 

The world will miss a beautiful soul. God bless you Mary Daly. May your soul and the souls of the departed do glorious things together and be joyous in your new life in ways that were not possible on earth.

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