copyright 2007 The Bettina Network, Inc.
It is time for a revolution! And for some basic change!!!!!!
I’ve noticed as the hair turns grey, many of you get on the “blue” band wagon and put the traditional laundry bluing in your hair.
It is beautiful, with the silvery blue look that it takes on – however – you have been cast as being “red” – from “red” states and all of that. So take your political assignment seriously and start to look the part. (Society has made an interesting symbolic choice for you, especially given the fact that when we were young, “red” had a different meaning. If you were from a “red” state, McCarthy would probably have called you up before his House on UnAmerican Activities Committee).
So it is time to change your hair and publicly acknowledge your party affiliation. Not in a hat wearing, banner waving, slogan yelling way, but far more subtle and much more sophisticated. Political Correctness is important in this modern world, so instead of the laundry bluing, which is really more characteristic of Democratic women with their “blue state” origins than it is of you, get out your bottle of beta carotene – the vitamin A capsules from carrots in oil – and let us start a politically motivated health and beauty change.
This is also very healthy and good for your hair, unlike the bluing, which dries it out – or the hair dye, which is probably the cause of so much cancer in women – the beta carotene costs only pennies. You can give the money you save to charity.
For the few pennies this costs we could convert many women to Republicanism from welfare, the homeless, from the lower-middle-income category. This is also an excellent plank to add, under the diversity section, to the National Republican Party Platform when it is drawn up.
How to achieve “Republican Hair”?
1. Wash your hair – any good organic shampoo will do.
2. Wipe it with a towel to get the excess water out. Don’t dry it, just sort of wring it out.
3. Clip the tip of a capsule of beta carotene – making sure you have the kind with the oil inside.
4. Squeeze the contents of the capsule into the palm of your hand. This will turn your palms orange for a little while, but ignore that, it is healthy for your hands as well as your hair. If you really get carried away you can clip another capsule to put on your face. You will have to rinse your face with lots of water before going out to avoid stares, but your wrinkles will be gone! Well sort of gone!!!!!
5. Lightly and gently rub your palms together and then put the beta carotene oil in your hair. Rubbing your hands over your hair the way you would with any oil. You want to make sure you have a good, but not excessive application.
6. If your hair is shoulder length or longer you will probably need two capsules. If you add the facial you will need three!
7. Don’t blow dry your hair. This will defeat the purpose as the heat from the blow drying will get rid of the color. It will also probably get rid of the vitamins which you want to feed your hair on the way to making you politically correct.
8. This works best if you set your hair on rollers and let it dry naturally. After a few treatments with beta carotene, drying will be quick because your hair won’t hold all that water after washing – a plus for our side. Younger Republican Women won’t understand this since they have this wash and wear hair. They could reach political correctness if they put the beta carotene in their hair and instead of blow drying before leaving home, they went about their business with their hair still wet from the shower – as many do. (And we wonder why the number of people with pneumonia has skyrocketed of late.)
The rollers are well understood by that upper-middle-aged generation, which the young and haughty will join soon enough.
A. This hair treatment will help you understand why our female ancestors wore those frilly, dainty, lacy, shower-cap-like
contraptions to bed. If you don’t do the same, your pillow case will be orange in the morning! Although mine washed out just fine, yours might or might not.
B. The red color will last two or three days at most. The Vitamin A benefits continue much longer, but the color fades. It doesn’t exactly disappear, but it just sort of fades leaving your original hair color, with its grey looking as though it has a blond overcast. To make the color go away completely, simply wash your hair – and then start over again.
A PERSONAL NOTE: My hair color faded at breakfast in the midst of an exciting conversation. Folks around the table were a little awestruck as they watched my hair fade from carrot red with darker red streaks to its original dark brown with grey streaks. Although the color didn’t entirely disappear. It just sort of faded, leaving my original hair color with a blond twinge.
The health benefit? My hair has never been healthier. With all the other thngs I try, this one definitely helped old hair turn young.
when asked to give our names and a paragraph about our bed and breakfast, we declined. Normally, we wouldn’t hesitate, but this being a political year with a highly heated campaign going on, we weren’t sure folks could read this in the tongue-in-cheek manner in which we wrote it. So if there is any flack coming from this incredible piece of writing, we will let the editors of the blog take it while we duct under the cover of anonymity.
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